I am a teacher.
I struggle every day to get through to kids with major problems in life.
They cry out for attention, for help, for support, for someone to love them.
We can only offer so much and often they reject the help they crave.

Its often no better than banging your head against a brick wall. Its a struggle. I struggle with it every day.
I often look at people in business suits who are going off to make money for a big company, people who work in stores selling the latest fashion item, tv executives who would sell their soul to the devil to get some ratings and it makes me feel better about what I do.
These people are most likely just as stressed as I am, some more so, yet what does anything mean to them?

I sometimes wish I could have a meaningless job where what I do every day doesn't affect people's lives really. But I don't think I could live with myself if I did do some meaningless job. There is more to life than button holes and coffee beans.

Some days I just wish I was treated with some respect. You bust your gut for these kids but they don't know that you are doing it for them, that you are giving your life to try and make their lives better. They just see you as that adult that their parents have told them is not worth listening to and thinks they are better than them.

It breaks my heart.

UPDATE: someone here claimed they could "fix" my students through an online video tutoral. Siad they could make them more intelligent even!
This post of mine was not me whining about my students and their problems. It was about me coping with my day to day life and feeling like I make a difference. My students cannot be "fixed" and I wouldn't want them to be. I deal with them in the classroom fine, that was not what I was getting at, at all.

Trying too hard...

Surrender...

Today marks the tenth anniversary of the beautiful Jeff Buckley’s tragic death.

I’ve told the story of how I missed out on seeing him live before. I stayed home in bed sick not knowing how much I would regret this poor decision later in my life. I actually had a ticket to see him here in Sydney and gave it up. I was nowhere near the fan then as I am now and became not long after I missed that show.

There is something incredible about the legacy (I hate that word) he leaves behind. It still amazes me that someone who only really released one album can have left such an impact. I still listen to Grace regularly and it still gives me the same tingles it did back when it was first released.

Since Jeff I have developed a fondness for folky sultry male singers…Nick Drake, Andrew Bird, Rufus Wainright…none of them reach him though. I was given Merri Cyr’s book, A Wished For Song almost 3 years ago and tonight I am going to gaze over it again and drift off into a dreamland of Jeff.
An exhibition of her photos is showing at Blender Gallery until June 5th.

So Real:Songs From Jeff Buckley is a new Jeff Best of album. Its out now.

This tribute even is happening in Melbourne this Saturday.

RIP beautiful beautiful Jeff Buckley 1966-1997

We miss you.

This week I bring you more gorgeous Sx70 Polaroids, stunning portraits, a little Japanlove, moose crossings(thank you Brandon!) and cherry blossoms are all over Flickr at the moment! I’ve had to up the size to include 36 shots as I am favouriting like there is no tomorrow and therefore some were missing out on the 20 shot square.
Enjoy!

1. Miyajima, 2. lifted, 3. Untitled, 4. Untitled, 5. abre los ojos, 6. In fields of gold, 7. Untitled, 8. Mae Hong Sorn - gang, 9. my lovely friends III, 10. 美味しい朝, 11. 26/05 (Day 75) Quiet Night In., 12. SAKURA - cherry blossoms, 13. 622, 14. 86470010, 15. 05800033, 16. 19080030.JPG, 17. Yayy Kunek:), 18. Untitled, 19. Strawberry girl, 20. taste the rainbow!, 21. my new gear !! - May25,2007, 22. Untitled, 23. working in progress, 24. sakura touring - May11,2007 (1), 25. May12,2007 - drooing double cherry blossoms, 26. hall, 27. yellow, 28. she gave me a flower pt.5, 29. Metropolitain, 30. Untitled, 31. Rape blossoms, 32. Akito, 33. 火车穿过胸腔, 34. Moose Crossing, 35. Untitled, 36. Untitled

So I mused over this a while back and lately I’m still feeling rather blah about the whole taking photos of bands thing I do. Last night Sean and I checked out Sandwich Club’s first ever mini festival held at The Loft.

It was really organised, the boys got a good turn out and people seemed to be having a great time. I enjoyed the bands we saw, had my camera at the ready but was not in the least bit interested in taking their photos. Sean took some instead.
Cuthbert and the Nightwalkers are a great Sydney act who I’ve now seen twice and surprisingly I could sing a long to a lot of their songs even though I’d only seen them once before. They managed to fit their cast of thousands onto the teeny stage and the girls in the choir could still do their little moves with no trouble. They are like The Spice Girls on speed. If you look closely, there is actually a Posh, a Baby, a Sporty, a Ginger and a Scary- although she’s not that scary, its just the hair. I really like this band. Check em out some time.
All the usual suspects were there, it was very mellow and there were plenty of Sandwich Clubesque details. Chucky and Stuey had obviously been hard at work setting up the paper lanterns and fairy lights earlier in the day.

Jack Ladder didn’t offend me as he usually does* and Dead Letter Chorus performed well, but I will admit I preferred all the songs where the lead girlie was on vocals. She is the something special in that band.

Cloud Control are fabulous and like them more every time I see them. Its indie music sydney style to the core, guitars, skinny jeans and some great harmonies making you bounce along more to each track.

The IttyBitty Festival was smooth and relaxed and a great new installment in the S Club repertoire. Great job, boys!
* I guess I owe explanation in my dislike of Ladder. I have seen this guy at least 4 or 5 times now and on every occasion except the last, he has disappointed me. In the past he has been a trainwreck to watch perform. Its disappointing because I do think he has talent. He has a deep, moaning rocket of a voice and writes lyrics that actually mean something, yet he lets his performance down with his pleading with the audience to like him and his weird self deprecation that just aint pretty. He may have felt more at home with the crowd last night so we didn’t see much of the usual Ladder hijinks, so I left feeling happier with this one. Don’t hate me Chucky.