I’m a little slow as I’ve just seen the Red Hill Mining Town video from the Joshua Tree remastered special edition and…
OH MY GOD.

Dear Bono,

Please note that most “Bono girls” out there are Bono girls because of your performance of Bad in the Rattle and Hum movie. We are Bono girls because of your sensual moves, your sexy high pants, those muscley guns that hold the mic so tightly, those suspenders, that bare chest and that sweaty hair that you, ever so manly, flicked from your face.

We are Bono girls because of the way you kiss the girl on the street in Las Vegas, the way you pull your arm out of the your sleeve and wave your finger at the camera. The pony tail, the stupid hats, the leather pants, the cheeky grin…

Now obviously, there is not a tonne of footage of you in your time of absolute sexiness, well…not that we have seen. And yet, here you are 20 years later just letting us in on the fact that one of your most Bonolicious moments ever has been caught on film?! What is this?! How could you keep this masterpiece of Bonoly goodness to yourself? How could you not allow us to share 20 years of adoration at your girating and hair flicking?

Bono, I beg of you, if there is any other footage of you in the red shirt, in that tub, girating with the belly dancer or at that bar in New York, then PLEASE, please share it with us!

We don’t care if you do cheesy movements, we don’t care if you are hanging from chains, we are not concerned with stupid canaries being thrust into the air, just give us the goods! I beg of you, no more holding out on awesome Bonoliciousness for another 20 years!

Yours with forever undying love and lust for the highpants and suspenders,

zooropamanda xx

p.s. Bono girls wide and far, if you watch the RHMT video 5 times per day for the next year, you may catch up on the last 20 years of lusting that we have missed out on.

p.p.s I’m not the only one who thinks so.

p.p.p.s. Normal U2 fans, it is PURE CHEESE. I actually screamed at the TV, “Oh no, Adam, don’t do it..don’t do it, Adam!” But he does it.